I wish…I pray

I wish to write great and wonderful news that Rick’s healing is a miracle and we can walk out of this hospital, but I can’t. He has had plenty of company and has been up several times. Physical therapy walked him a ways, but with 2 men close in on both sides with a strap around his middle for them to keep him from tipping over. He looks perfect when lying down, but standing up he is the ‘left leaning-tower of Pisa’. There is nothing ‘left leaning’ about him in any other way, except physical at this point. He is strong and when able to have a leaning post stands perfectly fine. Walking is another problem, sitting is tipping several times before getting a grip on the fact that he cannot ‘DO THIS’ himself right now. His vision is blurred some. The eyes do not track together and when the right eye is open so is the left, but the left doesn’t like to close and because of the stroke there is no tear-duct activity so his eye itches and gets crusty. His motor skill in the left arm and hand are negligible and he hits himself in the face when putting his hand to either his eye or nose. When he lays the arm down on the bed or pillow it just whacks the surface. It’s a fine line between an uncontrolled swat and a dead man drop. Patience will be the byword for some time to come.
The Gastro Doctor showed up about 9:30 pm to check Rick’s stomach to see about how much work it will take to put in the feeding tube on Friday morning. He could have done it tomorrow, but Rick’s had too much blood thinner and he has to be off it for at least a day, so we are put off to Friday, therein lies our hope of another day to get his swallow ‘trigger’ to begin to work. We pray for that…
I cried a couple times tonight. Once at supper with my sister in the cafeteria, overwhelmed by sadness that he has been poked like a pincushion and has hit his face on the left side so many times he has scratched the cheek and forehead and made his eye black and blue. He can’t tell sensory pressure.
The other time I cried is when I had to help him stand and I was on the left side…it was wonderful to hug him, but realized that the intensity of the hug was in fact because he could not stand on his own.
None of us stands on our own. We only think we do. Eve made a decision on what she perceived as right, accurate, completely sane and in control, and the world has been out of control ever since. The wonderful Neurologist has told us several times, that God has made our bodies and He made them to last forever, and they can heal and regenerate. The blood finds new avenues to flow when a vein or artery is destroyed or removed. The brain finds new nerve avenues to train our limbs and organs to function again. He is very optimistic, but it will be hard work for Rick.
In the end, it is God’s mercy and kindness that we are restored. We are grateful tonight to be in a hospital that is not likely to be destroyed by insurgents. We have heat or air conditioning according to our whim. Several soft pillows with clean cases, and a bell to ring when we need anything. How great is that. It’s like a 5 star hotel, for which of course we must pay, BUT we have insurance on him.
My tears were short-lived because of my joy in knowing we are kept in the hands of a loving God who has never given us a ‘stone for bread’, or ‘snake for food’….He is with us and has given us some fabulous opportunities to be a blessing to those who have come to see us, for this honor, we are blessed and give God the Glory.