I was awake very early in the morning (4am) up for a bathroom break. It always takes more time than I like to get back to sleep, so I take the time to pray and listen. Not much inspiration coming these days to write in the night. Quite tired from several angles. The Lyme disease is not much fun. I can function but just. Getting a bit older doesn’t help and caring for my husband who really does a lot for himself still takes its toll. While listening and praying for Rick in particular, I felt like God was asking ‘What do you seek?” That’s a really loaded question. The scripture came to me from the resurrected Savior speaking to Mary…”Who do you seek?”
What am I looking for in life? Who am I looking for? To be honest, the answer to question number one is ‘some relief’. The second is also as easy to answer. I really am looking to Jesus for strength, courage, wisdom and guidance. BUT, am I seeking Him for Himself? Am I as in love with Jesus as I was when younger? I believe more, but when you get older the tenor of a love relationship changes. It’s not all flutter and sweetness, sometimes there are circumstances that deepen the love and trust to maturity, but the tender heart should still be there.
There is a chorus we sing…’seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you’. I am so very grateful to the Lord for His care and attention, but I sometimes become ‘unaware’ and have to pull myself back to the recognition that, ‘He is with me’ at all times. I do rest and get relief in Him. He has provided all we need and inspires us to continue in fellowship and worship with others even when we can’t get out of the house. It’s been a long time since we were able to get to church, but we have a fellowship group here and prayer with/for folks every day of the week, and the church brings us communion regularly. We may be shut-in, but not shut-out of fellowship.
What I seek Lord is more awareness of Your sweet presence in my life, in our home; and the courage to carry on in faith everyday to Your glory and praise.