When waking today I realized that although most of the time it seems that things are going well, even in the midst of trying circumstances. Then Lent comes along and the time spent in reflection and the evening ‘Examen’ tend to shine a brighter light on the dark spots. Confession daily had become a bit complacent, but during this time I feel like it’s a constant apology for my bad behavior in attitude. Bitterness, anxiety, critical attitudes show up like weeds in the spring grass. The fruit of the Spirit seems like a distant encouragement.
(Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.)
It’s difficult to actually pin down the spiritual discomfort and put a name on it, but there is definitely a bright light making me uncomfortable.
The best selling book by Rick Warren begins with ‘It’s not about you’ has become quite the famous saying, but as my husband has brought to my attention, it should be… ‘It’s not just about you’. We interact with others everyday and our spiritual, emotional and physical health does affect our relationship with them. We are not here for ‘ourselves’ or we would be alone in the world. Our issues with others are vital. Our hearts, mental and emotional need to be tuned into God’s Word. Our focus on holiness should show in our actions. The issues of our deepest heart need to be cleaned up. This type of cleaning can be more heart rending and difficult than cleaning out the home of a loved one who has passed away. We need to die to ourselves and let the love of God touch those deeply seeded wounds and attitudes, and clean them out!
Isaiah 1:16 Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, 17 learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. 18 “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord: “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”